[mood| Photobucket peaceful]
[music| Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory on tv]

I don't even know where to start. Blogging doesn't seem as natural as it once had been. Anyways, I'll see what I can manage.

Holy week is, well, quiet. A quiet that I most welcome, of course. Working seven days a week, albeit if only for 3-4 hours per day, can get quite taxing. And then there's the trying to sound perky each and every time I go on air, but then again, there are days of genuine "perkiness". Hehe. So yeah, the three days off from work is a most welcome respite. And what have I done with my break? Nothing, really. Haha.

Wednesday was the last day before the three-day vacay, and I was unusually giddy on-air, only because I knew I would be getting a break. Although I had nothing planned, really, I just couldn't wait to not wake up pressured by time to hurry. After board work, I met up with family to hear mass for my cousin's 40th day since his burial. I still can't believe he's gone. It still doesn't seem right to see a strong, young person full of life go. He had a lovely black marble tombstone with his signature at the top and the line "See ya at tha crossroads" from a Bone Thugs N'Harmony song at the bottom, which happens to be one of his favorite songs. After the mass we went to his grave site for it to be blessed and as Tita Toots (his mother) was carrying his framed picture in one hand, I caught his son, Frank, staring at the picture and poking it, and occasionally kissing it. Heartbreaking...

Thursday was spent mostly at home and then met up with family at a resort, after which we had dinner at Tita Toots' place. Spent some time talking to Margaux (my cousin's wife) after dinner and over smokes. Although no tears were shed, anyone can sense that she's still in so much pain, and understandably so. I kept choking back tears as she was recalling that fateful day and the things the happened after. I asked her if Baby (how my brother and I used to call him) had made his presence felt to her at all. She told me about this one night when the pain felt so unbearable, she decided to go through his things. She found a book of his in which a pen was inserted. Naturally she opened it to the page where the pen was and a print-out of Coolio's Gangsta's Paradise came out. The last verse of the song is chilling:

Death ain't nothing but a heart beat away
I'm livin life do-or-die ah, what can I say?
I'm twenty-three now will I live to see twenty-fo'?
The way things are goin I don't know

Baby died at 23.

Haaaaaay...Baby. Tani way ka na lang napatay.

I'm a firm believer in the saying that everything happens for a reason. It's just that whatever the reason for this is, I can't understand. I don't think the people affected understand the reason, if any, also. I spoke with Margaux about that and, like me, she's still trying to understand the reason. I guess we're all asking God to reveal to us NOW why this happened. It's just that I don't think we all will be at peace unless we can understand. Or maybe it's just me, I didn't mean to generalize. But somehow I know that deep inside, everyone is still asking "Why?!"

Friday was spent at home trying to be productive. Hey I picked up after the dog, I cooked dinner and washed the dishes! Hehe. I was also able to finish a book, so yey for me. I finished tripping out on Lewis Carrol so now I'm onto Murakami. (Yeah, it was one of those two books for the price of one at the National Bookstore sale.) Spent quality time with my dog as well which was just perfect and satisfying. Groomed Nica and now she's oh so pretty. Hehe. And I believe she's loving the quality time we spend as well. She's been following me wherever the past couple of days :)

Alright, that's about it. I'm off to watch Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory now. I used to own a VCD of that, can't seem to find it now. The original Oompa Loompas were not as scary as the Johnny Depp ones and I loved the old songs :)

Come with me
And you'll be
In a world of
Pure imagination
Take a look
And you'll see
Into your imagination